Finished, But Not Complete

Do you ever see a beautiful person, and wonder who they are? You know, where they catch your eye with theirs, your mind goes absolutely blank, and your heart ceases to beat? It’s a moment of absolute nirvana. The moment is so fleeting; you want to hold on to the feeling for eternity though it slips through your fingers in an instant. They remain in your thoughts for the rest of the day, as you desperately try to piece together who they might be based only on the fraction of information you may have received from overhearing their subtle voice, and observing their graceful actions. By the end of the day, you may have created a whole person based on a transitory confrontation of your souls, or may not have created them at all, but only wondered who they might have created themselves to be, if only you had gotten the chance. You wonder if they too, felt that nirvana in the same moment. Am I a fool, to be stunned by beauty? Am I a fool, to wonder if I possess the beauty to stun? But no matter what doubtfulness, that instant of nirvana is all you long for again. The feeling is longed for, albeit the memory fades.

But there is one of those moments I will always remember.
One of those moments that repeats itself like history through the years of my life.
On the days I am blessed enough to see you, I am given that feeling of nirvana with a look, reminding me forever of the first time I met you.
And remembering is what happens when you say “Hi” to one of these beautiful people.
Or rather, when she says “What’s your name?” to you.
And now I don’t have to wonder who you would create yourself to be,
I only have to wonder if I have the right to live as God in heaven.

Or if any of them could have created themselves as beautifully as you have created yourself to be.

I like to believe, the ones who are in my life, are the ones who are meant to be.
That all the ‘what could have been’s’ are supposed to be just as they are, reminders not to let go of the One, whose beatific gaze is so oftentimes repeated.


~ by Jake Wilcocks on August 22, 2012.

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