Wishful Heartbeats > Wishful Thinking

•January 21, 2013 • Leave a Comment

First impressions leave more to the imagination
And since then it’s been wishful thinking
That you’ll indent on my thoughts more evidence of you
And now it’s my heart that is wishfully thinking too
That my imagination just might come true. 


Letter To A Friend

•December 22, 2012 • Leave a Comment


We’ve exchanged countless words thus far in the story that is us. Words that are crafted so surreal, so dreamlike that I have to wonder who I am to be given the chance to be a recipient of their elegant exchange. But even more so than the words, do I hold dear to me the emotions that they cause to twinkle amidst the firing synapses in my brain. For you have caused me to feel in myself what I will spend the rest of my life searching for; comfort. And I know that sounds simple enough to hold, but something this simple must be elusive. I may touch it with my fingers, but I may never wrap them around it, not until I can envelop my hands around your thoughts entirely. For your thoughts are always the answer to my own. And though the illusion to me is that your thoughts are far superior, I am quite elated by the truth: that your thoughts are my own, simply weaved by a contrasting perspective.

You are a vital organ in the body that is my life, and I want to share with you all that is important & inspiring to me. Whether it be art or idea, abstract or absolute, angelic or hellish, I want to show you these importances through my eyes, and see them through yours. Some things rank higher on this scale of importance to me than others, and these I am always eager to share the most. The two books associated with this letter are two of the most noteworthy books I’ve read thus far. Shown to me by my sister, they have moved us both in ways I could only ever dream of achieving in others. These are books I won’t share with simply anyone, only those who I believe will understand. And I believe you will understand.

As with life, the meanings I share with you in this letter can be found most in the silences between the words, where my literary dexterity falls far too short. As with writing, the meaning most found in life falls within the crevasses of silence, lost between the cracks of experience, where god speaks every word left unsaid to those willing to listen. In my life that is constructed as a hellish heaven, you play the role of an angelic demon, causing my heart to pump to the malignant rhythm of an arbitrary Love.

On this day of aligning stars, I am pleased that the stars that are us may align as well.

Infinitely yours,



Finished, But Not Complete

•August 22, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Do you ever see a beautiful person, and wonder who they are? You know, where they catch your eye with theirs, your mind goes absolutely blank, and your heart ceases to beat? It’s a moment of absolute nirvana. The moment is so fleeting; you want to hold on to the feeling for eternity though it slips through your fingers in an instant. They remain in your thoughts for the rest of the day, as you desperately try to piece together who they might be based only on the fraction of information you may have received from overhearing their subtle voice, and observing their graceful actions. By the end of the day, you may have created a whole person based on a transitory confrontation of your souls, or may not have created them at all, but only wondered who they might have created themselves to be, if only you had gotten the chance. You wonder if they too, felt that nirvana in the same moment. Am I a fool, to be stunned by beauty? Am I a fool, to wonder if I possess the beauty to stun? But no matter what doubtfulness, that instant of nirvana is all you long for again. The feeling is longed for, albeit the memory fades.

But there is one of those moments I will always remember.
One of those moments that repeats itself like history through the years of my life.
On the days I am blessed enough to see you, I am given that feeling of nirvana with a look, reminding me forever of the first time I met you.
And remembering is what happens when you say “Hi” to one of these beautiful people.
Or rather, when she says “What’s your name?” to you.
And now I don’t have to wonder who you would create yourself to be,
I only have to wonder if I have the right to live as God in heaven.

Or if any of them could have created themselves as beautifully as you have created yourself to be.

I like to believe, the ones who are in my life, are the ones who are meant to be.
That all the ‘what could have been’s’ are supposed to be just as they are, reminders not to let go of the One, whose beatific gaze is so oftentimes repeated.

Creation Brings Relation

•July 26, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I believe in god, but I am not religious.
I question my life, and see reality for what it is.
They create a grand illusion, for you and me.
I question these chains, and learn to be free.
I can show you the shackles, but I can not set you free.
I can give you the fruit, but you must find the tree.
Vibrations create your foundations,
Suggestive perspectives leave you believing in misconceptions.
There’s a battle for your attention,
If you hear this than I’ve won some.
They say blue and green should never be seen,
But it’s Mother Nature’s greatest scheme.

•May 12, 2012 • Leave a Comment

There’s so many things in my life I wish I never started, but I never knew they would be this hard to expel. I never knew they would do this to me, to my mind, to my soul. From drugs to Love, I don’t need a fresh slate, I need a new writing tool. I don’t want to change what I’ve written, but I Need to change the way I write. I can’t be with you and I can’t go without. If life didn’t make me feel alive, it would be lights out. Could you deal with that guilt? So stop playing, stop acting… and start being. I love you… but that isn’t always positive. I love You… but that’s where it ends.

Writers block

•April 16, 2012 • 5 Comments

the pen has run dry

ink can’t make it to paper

im stuck creating all that ive created

so frustrating..

i found the lock but not the key

as soon as i do

art will flow through



my dreams will spill through



The faucet will leak

like new

like new

like brand new

then I can show you.

(what you don’t deserve to know)

How Can One Conceive Peace When One’s Tragedy Is Another’s Pleasure?

•April 14, 2012 • Leave a Comment

We’ll part ways
You’ll continue on your superficial path.
Never truly digging into,
The world around you.

I’ll keep discovering,
Understanding & seeing more
Than your mind could ever

Maybe you’ll open your eyes,
One day
You’ll realize
how special of a being you truly are
and myself, as well.

My Tragedy,                           This Tragedy
is the result                             of reckless will
of your search                       of your lies
for pleasure                            of ties yet to sever
Our Tragedy                           Your Tragedy
sold our in lies                       Burned before your eyes
something that                      was deserving of visceral guidance
should have never               succumbed to this transgressor.